Title: Mushi no iki
Anime: AU Hanazakari no Kimitachi e.
Author: mizamiko
Rating of Chapter: PG

Mushi no iki
(To be at deaths door)

    Tired eyes stared at the nearly empty school grounds. The rooftop view of the surroundings of the campus was a beautiful play of crimson and amber fall of leaves. The wind had a bite that stung and permeated to the bone, the slender body that stood before the fence shivered. The sky, though clear, was stained red with the ending of the day, a beautiful ending to a most memorable day.

    It was autumn and the weeks moved slowly on, unmindful of those who counted them as if they were precious stones, slipping away between tired fingers. There was very little time left and the time for him to leave was fast approaching.

    Far below, he could just barely discern the laughing voices of his friends and dormmates. He knew it was a good thing, that type of laughter. It was not mocking or cold, just simple laughter coming from light hearts with so much to look forward to. Once, it seemed long ago, he was like them. He had dreams and hope.

    Before.

    Before he would have given anything for his 'best friend' to look at him the way 'he' looked at 'his' roommate. He fought so hard to gain that right. Nights he would spend comforting and encouraging. Long afternoons simply hanging around each other used to be the norm, but then it was always also with 'his' roommate. He remembered the spark of jealousy that had burned. So many things he had done that he now regretted.

    He had challenged Izumi head on then, and had lost miserably. One cannot force another to love nor can one make another to stop loving. He would not have accepted his defeat lying down had everything not come crashing down.

    It was nothing. Just some odd things that could have easily been overlooked. He would not have noticed had the bleeding not started. Even then, he had just taken some tissue and slept it off. He did not even bother wondering why all of the sudden he bruised easily or if he got cut it would take too long to heal. But now, he was glad it happened. A blood test here and a bone marrow aspirate there and suddenly the world tilted from its axis.

    It was curable and they did everything. Blood transfusions, chemotherapy and even marrow transplant was considered. But all it did was buy him time. It came to a point where the drugs no longer worked. He knew he was tethering on the edge. He could only watch as blood test after blood test slowly showed a picture that once would have sent him to tears.

    Once.

    Transfusion after transfusion came, just to keep him on his feet. Almost every other week was spent in the hospital, all done quietly, without disturbing his studies. He was actually glad for the cold coming. The long sleeved clothes hid the needle tracks from the chemotherapy. The thick things hid how thin he had become. The season gave him an excuse for the paleness that contrasted greatly with the greens and purples that covered his clumsy body.

    It was nearly laughable that of all his friends it was the one he called his rival who noticed something was off with him. All the others were easily fooled by his usual clumsy, funny forays. Everything was status quo except for the fact that he no longer chased after 'him'.

    In fact he has been setting things up for the two as much as he could. Why not? He did not have much time as it was. The least he could do was to make 'him' happy with the one 'he' came all the way from America for.

    Light brown eyes glittered with determination, flashing almost the same colour as his bleached hair. If he was going to leave this world he would leave it happy. He did not wish his best friends, and now he did consider his rival as his best friend, last memory of him as the pest between their attraction.

    "Oi Nakatsu! We're all going out to the ramen shop. You coming along?"

    A brief smile, a delicate twist of the lips, silent and content, touched the impassive face before turning to a well-practiced grin. In a sudden burst of energy, he turned to the speaker and slid to the role of the clown he was known for.

    "I'm right behind you Izumi!" like a child seeing his closest friend he jumped and draped himself on the others shoulder. With a laugh he pulled the other to hurry down the stairs, away from the rooftop, away from the other self who, but minutes ago, stood where he once was.

    A sudden gust of wind blew dying leaves from their slowly sleeping homes and danced on the paths well trod by many generations. One by one the leaves fall and autumn slowly gave way to winter and the seasons change.

    March 5, 2004

Disclaimer:


    I do not own the characters used in the fanfiction. Hanazakari no Kimitachi e was created by . The characters and associated materials of these works are used WITHOUT permission. I'm not getting any money out of this. Song Next in Line sung by After Image Original portion of the fiction included here is considered to be the sole property and copyrighted of the author.